Whether you’re making tea or hard boiled eggs, it seems like the more you watch the pot, the longer it takes to boil. You may wonder why this old saying seems to be true. You may also be thinking to yourself that this seems contrary to the Law of Attraction, or you may simply be wondering what this has to do with being a parent.
Just to be contrary, I’ll start with the last idea before you wander too far and get lost in thought:
The basic premise behind the “watched pot” saying is that you just can’t hurry things along by micro-managing the situation. Sometimes you have to let go of the reins a bit and let the horse run.
This is true with parenting as well. Parents, especially new parents, understandably tend to hover over their children. After all, you want them to succeed, you want the best for them, and you want them to learn from your mistakes.
Unfortunately, all this hovering can actually backfire on you, causing your children to never really grow up and be independent adults. This can cause them to lack the confidence they need to make decisions on their own. They may become stifled, and you may merely create a “You 2.0,” rather than raise the unique person they were meant to be.
The pendulum may swing the other direction and your kids may completely rebel against your teachings and everything you stand for. They may do this simply because what you’re at odds over is what you want them to do. And guess what? Even if it is something they would actually like to do, they won’t do it just to show their independence.
You can keep a close watch on your kids, warning of every obstacle or danger and tell them when to jump and how far, or you can guide your children and give them the tools they need to succeed. When you teach your kids to check in with their own Internal Guidance System, they will know firsthand if they are getting into hot water and what action to take.
The Law of Attraction teaches you to focus energy on what you want to achieve, so why doesn’t the energy of our watching the pot and wanting it to boil cause it to boil faster rather than more slowly?
For the same reason that standing over a child doing their homework, while anxiously holding the desire that they get a great job in the future, doesn’t magically cause them to graduate with honors more quickly.
In both cases, you’re focusing your attention on what you do not have — the lack of boiling water or academic and financial success.
This is an important distinction for parents to grasp. You want to guide your children, and at the same time, be willing to let go of the outcome. You must have the belief and knowing that the desired result is coming.
If you put the tea kettle on, you know it will ultimately boil. If you watch it, it seems to take forever. If you walk away it seems like only seconds pass and the kettle is whistling for your return to the kitchen. Similarly, if you give your children the tools to understand, you sometimes only need to walk away and give them the time and space to work it out on their own.
I welcome your thoughts!
© 2014. Sharon Ballantine. All Rights Reserved.