Have you ever had a thought about someone and then out of nowhere you receive a call, email or run into them someplace? How about when you hold an intention to purchase something and suddenly examples of it are everywhere? Doesn’t that surprise and delight you?
These thoughts and manifestations are the laws of the Universe in action! The law that governs our Universe is called the Universal Law of Attraction (LOA), which responds to our thoughts and feelings. We live in a Universe that is attraction based. What we think about and focus on is what we attract ~ whether we want it or not. For example; can you think of a time when you were really angry and the longer you thought about how mad you were the worse you felt and things stopped going smoothly? Or when you wished for something with eager, excited anticipation and it seemingly appeared out of nowhere? It’s fun to think about something you want and know it is on its way. On the other hand, when you resist or push something away you are also bringing it into your experience. Again, our Universe is attraction based; what we give our attention to we bring closer.
Wouldn’t you love knowing that you can have a positive effect on your children, attract the behaviors you want using the Law of Attraction and influence them without doing a thing except feeling good about them?
There is a process to how we attract. The process of attraction starts with a thought or a series of thoughts which then turn into how you begin to feel. An example as it relates to your family may be when you have a thought that your child is being particularly cooperative on a particular day. This will most likely give you a very good feeling! This feeling is then emitted from you as a signal. Within seconds, you have more like thoughts and you begin to attract whatever matches this good feeling signal. As you continue these good feeling thoughts about your child, the momentum increases, which means you starting to elicit more of this behavior. In other words, you are greatly increasing the chances that the cooperation you’re experiencing will continue because you will be attracting from your child whatever matches how you’re feeling. The trick is to continue your good feeling thoughts no matter what your child is doing. This takes practice because as parents we can tend to react to whatever behavior is front and center with our kids. Feeling good no matter what; is called deliberate parenting.
Deliberate parenting starts with intention. Your intention is a powerful statement to the Universe. It is the energy that propels you forward and helps begin the attraction process. Your intentions can be conscious and deliberate or they can be automatic. For example; when you get up in the morning it may be your intention to go to work. You probably don’t say to yourself each day, “I intend to show up at work today.” It’s an intention that began in the past and it has you on auto pilot. Another automatic intention is when you go to the grocery store. Again, you probably don’t say to yourself, “I intend to go to the grocery store.” On the other hand, a conscious intention is an intention that you purposefully declare to yourself or others. One example may be; I intend to exercise at least 4 times a week and get in better shape. Your experience has a greater chance of happening when you make deliberate statements of intent.
Over the years, I have intended many things as they related to improving my parenting. When my three children were very young and I was in the early stages of parenting, I remember getting to a point where I felt completely overwhelmed. I wanted to be a good parent but I really didn’t know what that meant. I didn’t have any family that were living, which meant I didn’t have any parental guidance or advice. I decided to visit my favorite bookstore and see what advice I could find on the shelves. Over the course of several months, I purchased over a dozen books on parenting and carefully placed them on my bookshelf. The funny thing was, I found that I couldn’t read any of them. Each time I walked over to my bookshelf to grab one of the books, my arm would suddenly freeze in mid air and I just couldn’t pull it off the shelf. I tried to grab a parenting book to read dozens of times. I finally decided that it just wasn’t meant to be that I read these books! One by one I gathered them off the shelf to put in a box to give to the library. It was a very liberating feeling even though I didn’t have a clue to why I hadn’t been able to open the books. My first thought was “Now what?” It suddenly felt like a light bulb when off in my head and I had this divine inspiration. I took a deep breath and powerfully stated to myself that my best parenting would come from my intentions. I stated that I intended to be a deliberate and fully present parent to my kids. I intended that I would see beyond whatever behavior they were eliciting and inspire them to a more positive outlook as often as I could. I would indeed come to realize these things over the course of parenting my kids but as it turned out I had to learn them the hard way.
The hard way became evident when I wanted my son to be a better student, which always turned into a fight. No matter how much I made sure he did all his homework, stayed after school for tutorials or added incentives for better grades, he would not conform to the higher standard I knew he was capable of. He didn’t particularly like school and he had no motivation for better grades. He saw himself as a poor student and so did I. At about this same period of time, I was intently studying the Law of Attraction and learning that we influence others by how we feel about them. I was attracting more and more of the behaviors I didn’t want because I came to expect them. It was hard to admit, but I realized that in order to truly help my son, I was going to have to see him as I wanted to see him, not as the current behavior he was exhibiting. In other words, I would have to hold the vision of him being a better student even though he wasn’t being one. That took practice. Our relationship was suffering over his grades and non-performance in school. At times, we were barely speaking. It broke my heart to always be arguing. I realized that my relationship with my son was more important to me than his grades, so I knew in my heart that I would have to change, not him.
This change involved holding the highest vision in my mind about my son. It was easier when we weren’t together. I sat by myself, closed my eyes and envisioned my son for who he truly was, a divine Soul. I inwardly appreciated our life together, all of his great attributes and how much I loved him. I deeply felt what I was envisioning. I practiced this over and over for many months until it finally became the way I saw him, no matter how he was doing in school or behaving. By doing this, I was no longer standing in the way of his success as I was no longer sending my son negative energy that matched how he was seeing himself. Then, I sat my son down in the kitchen just before dinner one day and gave him the freedom to choose for himself. I said, “Dustin, I trust you to know what you want for yourself. You have an internal guidance system that will never fail you. I am no longer going to try and force you to get good grades. It will be up to you to know how you want to feel and how you want to perform. I’m not abandoning you, I will be here to support you in any way you ask.” He was shocked. Dustin got up from the table and came over and gave me a huge bear hug. He said “Mom, I can’t believe this and I appreciate it so much!” Then he gave me the biggest bear hug he’s ever given me. I wish I could say that overnight things changed and he became a better student, but he did not. Our relationship however, did improve immediately. As time went on, Dustin began to realize that he cared how he felt and bad grades didn’t feel good. Without me continually telling him what to do, he was able to hear his own guidance and realize how he felt about things. Dustin’s grades began to dramatically improve.
It does make a difference how we view our kids. Holding the highest vision for them as opposed to being reactive will inspire them on every level. You can positively influence your children every day by working with the Law of Attraction. Notice what you create with them day to day as they behave in ways that aren’t pleasing. Your thoughts will always determine what you experience from your kids.
Here are a few tips and reminders to help you more effectively and positively influence your children:
Expect the behavior you want to receive. No matter what yesterday was like, or even an hour ago, expect your kids to be their best selves- at least most of the time.
- When you’re not with your kids, think only about what you love about them.
- When you are with your kids, think only about what you love about them.
- Take time to make eye contact with your kids. Send them the love you are feeling for them through your eyes.
- Imagine that your kids are already embodying the behavior you want from them. Do you want them to do better in school? See them as a better student no matter what their latest report card says.
- Do you want your child to be kinder? Imagine them as a kind person- and treat them as if they already are.
Wouldn’t we rather have a life where we, at least for the most part attract the things, people, and experiences that we truly want? In order to have this life, it is important and also really fun learning to work with the LOA. This is called deliberately creating your life.