When a parent operates out of fear, it can feel natural to want to control their child’s choices so the parent can feel better. This control mode will most often be met with resistance from their teen because teens want the freedom to make their own choices.
When it comes to teen’s making decisions on their own, unfortunately the parents who are fearful about giving their teen the freedom to make their own choices, can end up with more frustration.
One example where I operated from fear was the subject of school. Maybe you can relate to my circumstance? Have you ever checked your teen’s grades online? I did, and it was a nightmare at our house. It didn’t go well if one of my kids got a grade lower than what I thought they were capable of. Can you relate?
There was a period of time — when my teenage son didn’t want to do his homework– and though he didn’t seem to mind the missed assignments and lower grades, —it drove me crazy. Along with other decisions he was making, I was afraid his choices would keep him from any success in life. Though this particular HW incident was with my son, I experienced the same scenarios with my other teens at one point or another.
I found that control is an illusion—fueled by fear… yes, you heard me right, Control is an illusion—fueled by fear.
When a parent is operating out of fear, that fear can often lead to control mode. You may know as well as I do that when parents attempt to control their teen’s choices- the parent will be met with resistance, as teens want the freedom to make their own choices. Control from a parent can often lead to their teen shutting down communication with them.